What Was – Releasing June 20th June 15, 2017 – Posted in: Love, romance, suspense – Tags: LGBT, m/m romance
Imagine having your heart broken only to find out everything you thought you knew was a lie. Coming next week…
As Cody Banks stands at the edge of the Grand Canyon, searching for answers, he can see only his haunted past. Tortured by the death of his lover, his only solace is his job and his beloved Golden Retriever. He goes about his days filled with misery. A Canyon Ranger by trade, as the Fourth of July celebration nears, he’s asked to host a very special event – commemorating a memorial site for men and women lost to war and disease. The honor is too much to bear.
Baker Jennings has no idea what to do any longer. His business in shambles, his marriage in ruins, he takes a vacation with his only daughter in search of finding the man who’s been hiding behind a mask his entire life. Selecting a dude ranch in the glorious mountains, he’s determined to have three weeks of peace, finding needed answers and ultimately acceptance of what he can’t have – until he meets Cody.
Sparks fly between the two men and the moment they enter into more than just friendship, tragedy strikes, leaving both unsure of the future. As both men are forced to face not only their hungers but also their greatest fears, unexpected danger reminds them both of what’s most precious.
Can they move past the hurt feelings they are both suffering from and find happiness? Can they support each other and perhaps have an opportunity for the life they both dream of? Or will the lurking danger destroy them and their future?
“Find yourself before you become more of a loser than you already are,” Darla snipped. “Why did I marry you?”
“Boy, you better exorcise those demons living inside of you before you lose everything,” his best friend and business partner, Josh, stated over and over again.
Hell, they were both right, especially Josh, who knew him better than anyone else. Unfortunately, no one knew what demons were crawling inside of him, threatening finally at forty-eight years old to break free. And this time forever. Shivering, he gripped the steering wheel.
When they were safely on the way, Baker sighed in relief. What in the hell had he been thinking coming to the Grand Canyon of all places? My God, to think he was trying to run from his problems like a freaking coward. Well, maybe Darla was right after all and he sucked at being a businessman and a husband. The last few months had been so ugly, so demeaning. Maybe he should have stayed in Baltimore, try and salvage what was left of his advertising firm, let alone his marriage.
His entire life was going to hell in a hand basket. To say his relationship was in shambles wasn’t even remotely close to the truth. He stole a glance at his beloved daughter and gripped the steering wheel, his thoughts drifting to the past two very strained years. Miserable. Everything he’d touched seemed to be shit. Maybe this time away would drag him out of his wretched misery. Maybe he could actually yank back the man he’d once been. Man. Now that was an interesting word as of late. No, he couldn’t think this way. Things had to get better and coming to such a beautiful spot was a Godsend. Then the incident with the SUV. Stop being so pessimistic. Baker rubbed his finger across his mouth and pushed back all the condescending thoughts he continued to have. At least park ranger Cody Banks had been helpful.
For a few seconds, he allowed himself to think about the park ranger. He was damn happy the guy had been there to help out. Who the hell knew how the high altitude was going to affect a vehicle? The rugged man was helpful and kind. And he was very sexy. “Shit.”
“Dad, you cursed.”
“I know honey and I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry. I do it all the time,” Sheila said as she shifted in her seat.
He shook his head and couldn’t help but grin. “Not a good idea, dear daughter of mine.” As she fidgeted with the radio, flipping from station to station, his thoughts were drawn back to Cody. He was surprised how attracted he’d been to the handsome and very rugged man. He was usually drawn to more polished men, those who seemed to enjoy the finer things in life, indulging in fine wines and the theatre.
My God, what in the hell was he saying? Rubbing his tired eyes, Baker tried to concentrate on the curvy road as dirt flew across the windshield. Men. He was suddenly attracted to men. What in the hell had happened to him? Don’t lie to yourself. Lying seemed to be all he had been doing lately. He knew better about his attraction to men. Ever since he was a teenager he’d hungered for a thick cock, his dreams always centering around a hunky football player or dazzling long legged runner. Growing up in Mississippi precluded him from ever indulging in his correct sexual orientation.